Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
