It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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