i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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