one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
