And the cops told us we were all naked.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
