mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
