he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
