it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
