Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
