Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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