This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
