Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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