whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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