Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Randomize
