I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
