found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
