put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
