Dual....:-)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
