It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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