Pants 0. Shit 1.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
