dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
