I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
