she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
