Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
