She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
