If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
