Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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