That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
