from now on my penis is your penis
Do vagina's smell?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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