Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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