Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
