she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
