Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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