do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
