I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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