My hand turned me down
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
