Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Come share oat with me in your robe
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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