Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize