I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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