So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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