put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
