after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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