Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
