You just made me feel so damn special
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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