I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
