Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize