I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
