Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
