i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
