Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize