Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
