we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
only you would photoshop your dick
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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