We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
