I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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