I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
