i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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