so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
