I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
