There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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