And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
