I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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