I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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